Asparagus Agonistes: Dark Phoenix (2019)

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A little lesson in comic book nerdery (comic book nerds, feel free to skip over what you know.)

These are the D’Bari.

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They are a race of cute, peaceful ‘asparagus people’ from the D’Bari solar system. They are a part of the Shi’Ar Empire, an intergalactic star spanning imperium familiar to readers of X-Men, most notably because the wheelchair bound telepath who founded the X-Men, Charles Xavier, was the lover of the empire’s queen, Lilandr

Why do I start this blog post with this fact? Because about the only thing that made 2019’s X-Men: Dark Phoenix worth watching was the fact that SPOILER:

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Super Bad Seed: Brightburn

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Bear with me as I misremember and possibly misattribute a quote.

“At the rate our technology and understanding of genetics is progressing, some day, the first superhuman will rise forth from a tank. What are we going to put in this being’s hands to read? The New York Times? Atlas Shrugged? Or an issue of Superman?”

The quote, not at all verbatim, possibly was from the beautiful Chaos magician and comic book legend Grant Morrison (unless it was from Mark Millar?), a man who has made an exceptional career from superheroes, and who has positioned Superman as a Sun God and as our highest, noblest ideal. I recommend his work very strongly, particularly All-Star Superman, and also his book “Supergods: What Masked Vigilantes, Miraculous Mutants, and a Sun God from Smallville Can Teach Us About Being Human.”

Morrison makes the credible argument that a superhero comic is the very best thing we could give someone that has a lot of power to read.

And now, Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn has given us a vision of a Superman who could well have read … Twitter. Or 4Chan. Or whatever putrid corner of the Internet amplifies the worst thoughts and impulses of America’s boys. Continue reading